


Falling Feelings

by Shift7



Series: Ineffable Bureaucracy [11]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: But in a lighthearted sense, Discussions of Love and Falling, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 06:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20689169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shift7/pseuds/Shift7
Summary: “‘Falling for you’ sounds terrible.”"Excuzze you?" Beelzebub responded, not sure whether to be offended or not at Gabriel's sudden, unprompted declaration.





	Falling Feelings

“‘Falling for you’ sounds terrible,” Gabriel said, as the two of them walked idly side by side down a busy city street, looking at but not really observing, the flocks of different humans around them.

"Excuzze you?" Beelzebub responded, not sure whether to be offended or not at his sudden, unprompted declaration.

“I've been giving different types of human music a chance as I’ve been told I’m too narrow-minded. Apparently you need to listen to more than one album to ‘fully appreciate it’.” Gabriel explained, air quoting the last part, “Multitudes of songs mention Falling, specifically in reference to a non-descript 'you'. Personally, I'm not a fan of the sentiment.”

“Ah, that. Itzz more like…” They gestured abstractly, “An emotional burden, from my understanding.”

“A burden is an _ understatement _ . Why would anyone want to Fall? The consequences of that…” he grimaced. “Terrible.”

“Oh yezz,” they rolled their eyes, explicitly not pointing out the obvious. “ _ Hellish _, even.”

“Exactly!” he agreed, their play on words flying over his head. “I have no idea why humans are so _ obsessed _with it. Maybe you were right and they do have a predisposition for evil after all.”

“Even if that’s so, and it _ is _,” Beelzebub explained, "Therezz no _ actual _Falling involved in what they’re referring too, dumbazz. Especially in the sense that you and I are… familiar with."

“Then why even call it that at all?” He griped, "It's quite confusing concept especially since most people vocalizing about it sound so sad. Falling is tragic, painful. The songs are both _ tragic _ and _ painful _. It's a logical conclusion to connect the two."

“Not that you would _ know_,” Beelzebub chided, starting to run out of patience for his tactlessness as they stopped walking. “Anyway, most humans are referring to love.”

Gabriel knit his brow, confused, stopping and turning back to look at them, “Why would anyone be sad about love? Love is wonderful.”

“Love can be painful too.” They pointed out, “In the right contexts.”

“Impossible, love is joy.”

“Love izz longing.”

“Love is _ fulfilling _.”

“Love izz _ draining _,” Beelzebub countered, “Taking up your every waking moment azz it infectzz your brain and rotzz your soul.”

“Love is healing and calming.” Gabriel retorted, “It can save you, bring you back from the edge of despair.”

“Love izz also violent and cruel," they shot back, "Tearing apart at your insidezz until that same edge izz the only solace.”

“_Lust_ is violent,” He corrected, “And sinful.”

“Semanticzz,” They waved a hand, “They share the same meaning here.”

“Then it's not real love. An Angel's love is never sinful by design...” His brow furrowed, “Humans are clearly doing this wrong, as they do so many things wrong. God really created such flawed creatures.”

“And you are tasked the great burden of attempting to understand them,” They laughed at him.

“Heaven's policy change on this is one of my greatest frustrations,” Gabriel sighed deeply, “Humans didn't _matter_ when they were just going to get wiped out in a few thousand years. This adjustment to indefinite existence is taxing on our resources. I just don't know how I'm supposed to go about it sometimes.”

Beelzebub thought for a moment before they leaned in and looked up at him with a grin he couldn't discern the meaning behind, “Why don't you try falling for me then?”

“W-What?” Gabriel was more than a little taken aback.

“Just try,” They suggested slyly, narrowing their eyes in a way that made his skin crawl. 

“T-Trying to project love onto a Demon would be unfathomable.” He blustered, “And I don’t even _like_ you.”

“And yet here we are," They gestured between the two of them. "You meet with me all the time.”

“That's for professional reasons _ only,_” he justified more forcefully than he might have needed too.

“You called me a friend once.” They pointed out, “I have it documented.”

He stammered, “P-perhaps, but…”

“You said Angelic love can't be sinful by design. So you’d have nothing to worry about.” They said as they took a step forward, leaning into his space. “It could be for research. It could be for _ work_.”

He stepped back, unsure and cautious. That could be a valid reason, sure...

“I'm not asking for you to move down to the basement or anything...” He felt like there was a prickly unspoken _ yet _ lingering somewhere deep in that statement, “All you'd have to do izz _ try _ and see what itzz _ like_. Professional reasons _only_.” 

Gabriel wrinkled his nose, “I can sense temptation in that.”

Beelzebub shrugged. “Itzz in my nature.”

“I thought you didn't do temptations anymore.”

“Not usually, but,” They leered at him, “I'd make a special concezzion.”

Gabriel tapped his chin, thinking it through. Beelzebub bounced up and down slightly on the balls of their feet, smirk never leaving their face.

“I don't think I will,” He said definitively, looking down at them, “I don't think I want to 'Fall' for anyone even if it is for professional understanding and not in the way you say I comprehend it. I still can’t get behind the terminology.”

“Your lozzzzz~” they said playfully before the two of them continued walking down the street.

**Author's Note:**

> Gabriel later asked what other concessions they would make for him and if those might be more agreeable to his understanding of human culture. Beelzebub diverted the question telling him that offer was limited time only and he had missed his chance.


End file.
